Sunday, November 27, 2011

Sometimes, I Wish.

Sometimes, I wish that I could fly.
Sometimes, I wish there was no pain.
Sometimes, I wish tears never had to be shed.
Sometimes, I wish I could take back all of my regrets.
Sometimes, I wish for the clouds to part.
Sometimes, I wish I didn't know some truths.
Sometimes, I wish I could heal broken hearts.
Sometimes, I wish everyone knew God like I know Him.
Sometimes, I wish I could stop disappointing myself.
Sometimes, I wish the rain would stop.
Sometimes, I wish I knew what to do.
Sometimes, I wish I didn't have to make choices.
Sometimes, I wish my feet weren't so cold.
Sometimes, I wish the voids would fill with love.
Sometimes, I wish I could sing my cares away.
Sometimes, I wish people would forgive.
Sometimes, I wish I wouldn't complain.
Sometimes, I wish I had never caused pain.
Sometimes, I wish I could climb under a rock.
Sometimes, I wish I could shout from a mountain top.
Sometimes, I wish I could cure anything with a hug.
Sometimes, I wish people never had to die.
Sometimes, I wish I could be a child again.
Sometimes, I wish my nose wouldn't run when I cried.
Sometimes, I wish cats were allowed at my apartment.
Sometimes, I wish the dishes were always done.
Sometimes, I wish money didn't exist.
Sometimes, I wish love didn't always have to hurt.
Sometimes, I wish I could change my past.
Sometimes, I wish food wasn't necessary for life.
Sometimes, I wish I could sleep all day.
Sometimes, I wish my parents weren't so far away.
Sometimes, I wish everyone knew I loved them.
Sometimes, I wish I could savor those little moments forever.
Sometimes, I wish my homework would do itself.
Sometimes, I wish I could see the good in everything I do.
Sometimes, I wish all shoes were waterproof.
Sometimes, I wish I could see what others see in me.
Sometimes, I wish I could truly live by example.
Sometimes, I wish I could save the world.
Sometimes, I wish I could save myself from the world.
Sometimes, I wish medical things weren't so expensive.
Sometimes, I wish my car ran on water.
Sometimes, I wish society loved curves.
Sometimes, I wish I could see into my future.
Sometimes, I wish I could be the best me possible.
Sometimes, I wish I would realize that I can do anything.
Sometimes, I wish.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

"And on the Seventh Day..."

Ahhhhhh. Yet another wonderful Sunday to go down in the history books :)

I love Sundays. Seriously. Even people who are not religious should be thankful for Sundays!!! :P

But really. Has anyone ever wondered exactly why we have Saturday and Sunday off {in most cases} from work or school??? It is because back in the "good-ol'-days", people were given a day to worship. For some, that was on Saturday, and for others, that was in Sunday. So "they" {I love how "they" is always used to describe some "person" out there who does a ton of different stuff} decided that we would all have Saturday and Sunday as our days of rest! Cool, I know.

I learned so many wonderful things in church today. I have to admit that sometimes, 3 hours of church can be a little much... Especially when you are tired and stressed out form school/ But I have learned that when my attitude towards church is positive and I go into it hoping to learn and become better and stronger, I enjoy it soooo much! I was able to share my testimony many times today, and I was even given the opportunity to speak of the time when I was preparing to be baptized. I love talking about my conversion. It strengthens me so much to look back on how much I went through to get to where I am now. I am so blessed to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I hope that you were able to enjoy your Sunday as much as I enjoyed mine.

I love this scripture so much. I look to it whenever I am feeling down and unable to bare my burdens...

"And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that you will stand as witnesses for me hereafter,  and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions." (Mosiah 24:14)

Until next time :)

Friday, November 18, 2011

Iwillnotfreakout.

Iwillnotfreakout. Iwillnotfreakout. I. WILL. NOT. FREAK. OUT!!!!!

Okay, I am freaking out.

I hate double standards. Hypocrites! Ughhhhh.

Anyone else have that problem??

I feel like I go through so much of my life living up to other people's expectations and requests of me. Yet, those same people don't do the things that they expect me to do. Which leads to me getting frustrated. And a frustrated me is not enjoyable in the least.

This has been such a stressful week :( Thanksgiving break couldn't get here any sooner.

I can't even collect my thoughts into words right now... (Frustrated face).

Technology: A Blessing, Or A Curse???

My life is consumed with technology. I seriously could not survive a day without it! Not by choice, but by the demand that is placed on everyone everyday to use technology. For example, ALL of my classes have some sort of online submission system, whether it is tests, quizzes, assignments, reading, ect. Not to mention the countless hours I personally spend every.single.day on Facebook, Pinterest, or other time-consuming websites. And the countless hours I spend texting. So I have been thinking a lot about technology and its function in my life, and I am asking myself a very important question (and subsequently, you too!): Does technology consume your life??? Do you have control over how much time you spend using technology??? Are you addicted to technology???

So many wonderful things are being done that could not have otherwise been done because of technology. Every time I submit a paper online, I am saving paper, trees, and helping our environment. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is able to reach out to those with questions about the church through technology. Members of the church are able to do family history and work for their decease relatives. I am able to keep in contact with my friends and family using technology. People are able to be more informed about their world because of technology. In many, many ways, technology is a blessing.

Now to the other side of the coin: I'm sure many of us can name many aspects of the negative side of technology. It consumes people's lives, distracting them form their duties, whatever those may be. It destroys relationships, whether through addictions to technology itself, or through using it to become addicted to destructive things, such as pornography. It allows lies to be spread on a world-wide level. If we do not use technology correctly, it ultimately allows the adversary to infiltrate our minds and homes.

This topic really hit me last night when someone pointed out to me that I spend so much of my time on my computer when I should be spending time with them... That really hurt me, because I know it is true :( So, maybe, just maybe, I can help to spread awareness of just how consuming technology can be... Yes, in many ways, we need it to further our schooling, careers, and social life, but we are not and should not become slaves to technology. It is a blessing, but if we do not use it right and make sure we constantly stay in control of how much time we spend using technology, it will become a nasty curse.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, a member of the First Presidency of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, gave a talk in the April 2008 General Conference. {For those of you who do not know what General Conference is, it is a bi-annual conference held in Salt Lake City, Utah. This conference is put on by the church. During General Conference, leaders of the church assemble and give talks inspired by God to members of the church throughout the world. To find out more, I encourage you to visit http://lds.org/ to find out more!!} His talk is titled "A Matter of A Few Degrees". In it, he says this...


"This conference is being translated into 92 languages and broadcast to 96 countries by the miracle of modern technology. Many of you... attend general conference by means of the Internet. New technologies such as this make it possible for the gospel message to be spread throughout the world. The Church Web sites are good examples of how you can use this technology as a wonderful resource of inspiration, help, and learning. They can be a blessing for you priesthood holders, your families, and the Church.

But be cautious. These same technologies can allow evil influences to cross the threshold of your homes. These dangerous traps are only a mouse click away. Pornography, violence, intolerance, and ungodliness destroy families, marriages, and individual lives. These dangers are distributed through many media, including magazines, books, television, movies, and music, as well as the Internet. The Lord will help you to recognize and avoid those evils. It is the early recognition of danger and a clear course correction that will keep you in the light of the gospel. Minor decisions can lead to major consequences.

Entering a strange and risky chat room on the Internet could lead you into the center of a raging storm. Putting a computer in a private room that the rest of the family cannot access could be the starting point for a deceitful and dangerous journey.

But the Lord requires not only outward acts but also your inner thoughts and feelings to be close to the spirit of the law. God “require[s] the heart and a willing mind.”

Remember: the heavens will not be filled with those who never made mistakes but with those who recognized that they were off course and who corrected their ways to get back in the light of gospel truth."

To read the entire talk, click here. You will not be sorry if you do, I promise :)

Time to study! Until next time :)

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Venting.

I need to "release" before I delve into the mountain of homework I have... Right now, I just can't focus.

I am a vent-er. I know that the best way to get your feelings out is to either talk to someone, or write them down. I guess by venting on a blog, you are essentially doing both (though I am not sure anyone actually reads this... yet). 

Well, I'm in a mood, and I want to get out of it.

Sometimes, I just get soooo frustrated. Normally, I handle my emotions well, but recently, I have been loosing my temper. Don't ask me why. I have no idea. I'm guessing it has something to do with stress and exhaustion... Nasty combo, let me tell you. And the worst part is that I know when I am going to get frustrated and have a minor "freak-out", but I rarely stop myself. 


Anyone else have this problem???


Lately, I have just been closing my eyes when frustration peaks and asking Heavenly Father to help me be patient, loving, compassionate, and more patient! I hate taking my anger out on others, because I love everyone so much... So then I just feel downright poopy. (Sad face). :(


I have so much to be happy about, yet I let that fact slip away a midst the unhappiness and stresses of everyday life. Every time I start getting down about anything, Heavenly Father shows me that I have nothing to complain about. I love being humbled, no matter how terrible I may feel at the time. Every time I am put into a situation where I am humbled, I feel the love of Heavenly Father being poured over me. He loves us all so much that He is willing to humble us when we need it.


I love that I know I have someone who loves me perfectly and infinitely. We all are going to make mistakes in life, but no matter what mistakes we may make, His arms are open, outstretched towards us, waiting for us to return to His loving embrace. It is amazing to think that just two short years ago, I had no idea. I want so badly for everyone to find what I have found; to know what I know about Heavenly Father and our Savior Jesus Christ... There is so much to know, so many things that will bring you immense joy... 


I need to loose myself in these things. The joys in my life are evident in all that I do. I have been through a lot in my short 19 (almost 20!) years. Never have I enjoyed such joy and so many blessings as I do now. I know that these blessings will pour out upon me as I continue to humble myself and improve, and to turn to my Savior in all situations. 


Including when I am frustrated. 


“Nevertheless the Lord seeth fit to chasten his people; yea, he trieth their patience and their faith.” (Mosiah 23:21)


“Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” 

I have some things that I really need to work on.

Getting Used To This...

So, I had time to write today, but instead, I took a 2 hour nap with the most amazing person in the whole-wide world! :) Naps are seriously AHHHHMAZING. Especially when you are exhausted because you have been up since 6:30 AM this morning... Guh. Love being a college student!!! But seriously, I do. College is amazing! I am so blessed to be able to receive an education at a school that is centered around the teachings of Jesus Christ. Coming to this school has increased my testimony of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the truths it holds. I am so blessed to be able to pursue my career goals. It gets tough sometimes, and yes, I am tired always, but I would not trade this experience for the world.

Recently, I have been able to experience something new and very foreign to me, and I have been thinking a lot about it lately. I am currently taking Anatomy & Physiology, and I looooove it!!! I am so certain that a medical career is what I am supposed to be pursing. So, our most recent topic in my anatomy lab has been the muscles of the body. In order to really understand how it works, we are required to study on cadavers. Yes, bodies of deceased people. Real bodies!!! At first, I was like, "Ugh. Weird. I dunno if I'm down with this..." But then again, I realize the importance of studying cadavers. Say you need to have open heart surgery. You go in for your consultation with a surgeon, and you find out that he is fresh out of Medical School! (Woohoo for him! That takes some serious time... and moolah $$$.) Then you find out that this person has never, ever seen the inside of a real person. Oh yeah, he has studies for weeeeeks on models, but never a real person! Would you want this man to open you up and slice into your heart??? My guess is heck.no. So now, I realize the importance of cadavers!! No matter how important they are to science though, it does not make it any less weird to be seeing the inside of a deceased human being... To be playing with their dissected pieces... (Shivers.) But, every cloud has a silver lining, so here is mine in this case: Because I have been dealing with these cadavers multiple times a week, I have gained an incredible testimony of my beloved Heavenly Father and the fact that He totally knows what He is doing! Whenever you look at a person, you are seeing a complete soul. A soul is a combination of a body and a spirit. When I look at these cadavers, it is very apparent to me that they are not a soul, but instead, they are just a shell, or a "husk". Their soul is gone, and because of this, they are not whole. Some people say that we have no spirits... I urge those people to work with a dead body. Because even though I knew that everyone had a spirit, I had never truly experienced it. I know for a fact now that we are all special, individual, beloved spirits that are extremely important to our Heavenly Father.

I love college!!! :)

(Actually, right now, I am sitting in my Child Development class... I should be listening to my teacher talk about the material that I know I will be tested on eventually... Especially since she is an amazing woman, and I do respect her in so many ways... But apparently, I would rather ramble on about random things.)

My wonderful parents sent me a package today from Cabela's. It contained a 72-hour emergency dehydrated food kit! Mountain House Dehydrated Food... YUMMY. And I am not being sarcastic! So "yey!" for my wonderful, loving parents! I hope they know how much I love them and how much I appreciate all that they do for me.

My laptop is dying... Maybe I will write more later?? Or I could do productive things... But who wants to do that????

Until next time :)

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

A New Beginning!

Introductions really aren't my thing. I mean, I love meeting new people, but I almost wish we lived in a world where we carried around a card that we could all swipe and store in our "databases" that gave us all of the information we would ever need to know about that person... I feel like that would be of great service to those of us who really don't like to introduce ourselves.

I can't say I don't like to talk about myself, because I have a blog... Which to me, is like a Facebook: You have one because you want others to know about you, and you only put things on there that make you look better.

My blog will not be like Facebook.

I'm a very honest person, and I am not shy about my feelings. I'm the girl in my classes that is always sharing deep, intense personal stories with the entire class during discussions. I'm not afraid to share who I am, where I have been, and how I have gotten to this point in time.

This point in time is me, sitting on a couch in a lounge, waiting for my significant other to get out of class :) I should be doing my homework, but after a recent addiction to another blog, I have been inspired to revive mine. I had an old blog, but deleted it to start anew. Hence, the title, "A New Beginning".

As you may also have inferred from the title of this blog, I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also known as a Mormon. I am currently attending Brigham Young University - Idaho, which is an LDS school. (LDS stands for "Latter-day Saint", if you were unaware. We Mormons have a ton of acronyms!). I am a recent convert into the church. I was baptized on July 24, 2010. Best decision I could have ever made.

This blog will essentially be my journal. I know that very few people will read it, but I hope that for those of you who do, you will get something out of my words. My brain is a complex place. Even I have a hard time with it on occasion. But it is my hope and prayer that through this blog, I can bring joy, comfort, peace, happiness, or even love to someone who reads it.

Recently, I have become addicted to a blog that is helping me in ways I never knew I would need help in.

This woman is amazing. I found her while searching for some peace and answers to a question that plagues my mind on a daily basis... She is also LDS. She is the wife of a man enlisted in the United States Army. She, like me, is very passionate about English (I am, however, a nursing major). Her words are emotional, raw, powerful... They are everything I have needed recently. I urge you to take a peek at the treasures she has to offer. You will not be disappointed, I promise :)

Well, I have homework to do... So, I will say "good-bye" for now.

Until next time :)