Yes, yes, you heard it right. I am now officially 20 years of age! Well, actually, 20 years, 1 day, 11 hours, and 16 minutes... But who is counting?? :)
I have never in my life felt any different on a birthday. And even though it was just another normal day in the life of Alicia, I legitimately felt different. I can't pinpoint exactly what the difference was, but it was definitely there. I guess maybe it finally hit me that I am growing up. Life is coming at me fast, and I am not entirely sure I am ready for it.
Overall, February 17, 2012 was a pretty uneventful day. My wonderful roommate Courtney bought me a card and a YUMMY cupcake, I talked to my mom for a little while, went and saw "The Vow" (I will elaborate on that later), and then did absolutely nothing. Not to whine or anything, but all I could think about all day was how badly I wanted to be back home in California.... I am starting to feel trapped/confined/restricted to Idaho. I love it here, don't get me wrong, but I think I have realized that I am the type of person who thoroughly enjoys lots and lots of change. I love new experiences, and I am in dire need of one. Soon. Sadly, I am broke, broke, broke, and I can not afford to do the things I want to do to get me out of Idaho... I am about ready to quit my job, spend all of my money on a one-way ticket to somewhere in Europe, and fly away on an adventure... Oh, sweet sweet imagination. I wish I could make you real.
"The Vow" was an interesting movie. I realized that yes, Channing Tatum has a FAN-tastic body, but dang, he has some snaggly teeth. Basically, I just wanted to burst into tears during the whole movie (which I only did 4 times...) because I was just so emotionally frustrated!! I mean, heck, there I sat, a single, 20 year-old, watching a sappy chick flick (with 2 other single girls) where this dumb broad is turning away a man who is fighting endlessly for her love, and I can't even hardly get a date!!! (Sorry, I very clearly need to rant). So, ultimately, I cried a lot throughout the movie, partly out of frustration for poor Leo (Channing's character), and the rest of the time I was crying because I was just feeling downright pathetic. Woohoo, happy birthday to me!
I bought myself some conditioner and a set of fake nails, both of which I love :)
Valentine's Day was just as uneventful. I had a great day at work, came home, taught my spin class, and went to sleep. Being single in Rexburg on Valentine's Day is disheartening, so I tried my hardest to pretend it was just another day. I mean, really, it IS just another day. The calendar and society just happen to have convinced us that it is the only day of the year that we are allowed to show our love and affection for those we care about. A quick note to all of you guys out there: that special lady in your life would WAY rather get a special gift on a random day than on Valentine's Day. Something that says, "I give you this random _________ because I love you and I just wanted you to know!" is much better than, "Here, have some chocolates and flowers because society told me so."
It just started snowing! Joy :) Despite how cold and wet the snow is, there is something peaceful about it's falling. A peace my soul is desperately craving. Along with the music I am listening to right now... Well, just listen to this and picture the falling snow :) Makes me wish I had some hot chocolate and someone to snuggle up to. I think I will go make myself some hot chocolate... At least I can satisfy that desire!!!
Work is going well. I now have 2 babies that I babysit, with a third opening up soon. Paige and William are both 5 months old. They were born a day apart! And my goodness, they are sooooo cute :) Their moms are so awesome as well! That extra money feeds my Starbucks addiction... I am addicted to Salted Caramel Hot Chocolates :) They are soooooooooo gooooooooood!!!
I apologize if this post seems a little on the negative side. I have been in a funk lately. Not exactly sure how to pull myself out of it either. I mean, I am still happy, I just feel like something major is missing in my life. Not to mention I am stressed out beyond belief... "My [daughter], peace be unto thy soul. Thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment." I keep reminding myself that no matter how down in the dumps I may feel right now, this storm will pass. I have so much to be happy and grateful for. I am blessed beyond words on a daily basis. I guess sometimes it is just hard to allow the good things to outshine the not-so-good things. I have a bad case of "The Grass Is Always Greener" right now. But hey, things generally can only get better when you are feeling at your worst, right? So, therein lies my light at the end of the tunnel :) Life is what you make it, so I am trying to be my regular self and make it fantastic!!! It is just... getting harder :/
Well, I don't know how many people will ever actually read this, but hopefully I didn't bring you down if you are reading this. I need to end with something happy...
"...please understand that what you see and experience now is not what forever will be. You will not feel loneliness, sorrow, pain, or discouragement forever. We have the faithful promise of God that He will neither forget nor forsake those who incline their hearts to Him. Have hope and faith in that promise."
(For the rest of this talk, click here.)
Have a happy day, everyone!!
Love and hugs :)
