Tuesday, July 10, 2012

"Choose One, Baby, Your Head or Your Heart?"

I really should be writing an 8 page paper on the digestive system that is due tomorrow... But my mind simply will not quit with all of its thinking.

Today has been an incredibly stressful day, let me tell you. One of those days where all I want to do is get in my car, drive home, and lose myself in a massive bear hug from my parents. I find it funny that as a little kid, mommy or daddy hugs cured everything, then as a teenager you think you can handle it all on your own. Now, even though I am an adult, I feel like mommy and daddy hugs will once again cure whatever ails me.

Mat Kearney is on my playlist today. THIS song, for which my blog is titled, is quickly becoming one of my favorites. I could delve into the whole "choosing" thing pretty far right now, but I will save that for another day.

I listened to a talk today from the April 2003 General Conference by Richard G. Scott titled "The Sustaining Power of Faith in Times of Uncertainty and Testing" (click HERE for the full talk). Last year, I was having a difficult time, and I came across this talk. I saved it in an obscure file, hoping I would remember the comfort I had felt in the words of such a wonderful man. Well, I didn't exactly remember that I had it, but I was cruising around my computer and stumbled upon it today. I felt the comfort of Heavenly Father as I read the words spoken so many years ago. Like the scriptures, the words of prophets and apostles always apply to us in modern day, no matter how long ago the words were delivered. 


In this talk, Richard G. Scott addresses many powerful topics. I would like to touch on just a few of them that really helped me as I read. The first I would like to talk about is the presence of God. Elder Scott relays a story that goes: 


"Years ago, I participated in the measurement of the nuclear characteristics of different materials. The process used an experimental nuclear reactor designed so that high energy particles streamed from a hole in the center of the reactor. These particles were directed into an experimental chamber where measurements were made. The high energy particles could not be seen, but they had to be carefully controlled to avoid harm to others. One day a janitor entered while we were experimenting. In a spirit of disgust he said, 'You are all liars, pretending that you are doing something important, but you can’t fool me. I know that if you can’t see, hear, taste, smell, or touch it, it doesn’t exist.' That attitude ruled out the possibility of his learning that there is much of worth that can’t be identified by the five senses. Had that man been willing to open his mind to understand how the presence of nuclear particles is detected, he would have confirmed their existence. In like manner, never doubt the reality of faith."

Though I have never seen God or Jesus Christ with my own eyes, I have felt their existence and love through the influence of the Holy Ghost. "Faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith." (Ether 12:6) Which leads me to my next thought...

"God uses your faith to mold your character. Character is the manifestation of what you are becoming. Strong moral character results from consistent correct choices in the trials and testing of life. Your faith can guide you to those correct choices. Clearly, it is what you do and what you think about that determine what you are and what you will become."


During times of trial, we are being molded by our experiences. It is like that quote from The Vow that I posted the other day: "We are the sum total of all of our experiences". True character shines through during those trying times. How we handle each situation is a direct reflection of the faith that we have. Elder Scott also gives us some basic principles to follow during times of trial.



1) Trust in God and in His willingness to provide help when needed, no matter how challenging the circumstance.
2) Obey His commandments and live to demonstrate that He can trust you.
3) Be sensitive to the quiet promptings of the Spirit.
4) Act courageously on those prompting.
5) Be patient and understanding when God lets you struggle to grow and answers come a piece at a time over an extended period.

"Faith will forge strength of character available to you in times of urgent need. Such character is not developed in moments of great challenge or temptation. That is when it is used. Character is woven patiently from threads of principle, doctrine, and obedience." 

We must prepare now for the things we have to face in the future.

"Why worry about future calamities or uncertainties over which you have no control? Your righteous character magnifies the probability that you will never have to suffer them. When challenges and testing do come, your faith will lead you to solutions. Your peace of mind, your assurance of answers to vexing problems, your ultimate joy depend upon your trust in Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. Right will ultimately prevail. It will yield blessings now as you in faith obey the commandments of God. Remember an unfailing, continual, ever-present source of peace and comfort is available to you. It is the certainty that your Father in Heaven loves you no matter what your circumstance, no matter what winds of trial, turmoil, or tribulation whirl about you. That certainty will never change. Your ability to access that support depends on the strength of your faith in Him and in His certain willingness to bless you."

I am so grateful to have such comforting and guiding words available to me whenever I need them. Even now, after writing all of this, I feel so much better. 

Sometimes, all you need is a reminder that Heavenly Father loves you to help you through the day. :)

Sunday, July 8, 2012

I Am A Convert.


Happy Sunday, everyone :)

I was asked today by one of the missionaries that taught me to share with him about how it felt to be a convert and how it affected my life. Almost 2 years ago, I became a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am grateful for the opportunity now to reflect on how much my life has changed.

As you can imagine, every single aspect of my life changed from the moment I committed to being baptized. The things I did, who I associated with, what I watched, how I dressed, what I consumed, how I thought, how I spent my Sundays… Not a single thing in my life escaped the change. I don’t ever remember any of it being difficult though. It all felt so natural. I knew that I had made the right decision to join the church, so the decisions I made to change my lifestyle just felt natural.

However great my lifestyle changes were, two major changes had the biggest impact on my life then and now, and they continue to effect how I see the world around me today.

The first major change that my conversion brought about was HAPPINESS. The person I was before was not capable of feeling the joy that I now feel on a daily basis. I attribute this happiness to many things, but I think that the gift of the Holy Ghost was the glue that pieced all of my joy together. I am often told that my countenance has changed completely, and I know it to be true. I never used to look at myself and see beauty, but I see myself now as a daughter of God with the light of Christ burning bright in my reflection. Therein lies true beauty. My knowledge of my Heavenly Father and His love for me brings about a peace I never knew existed. The fact that I know my Savior lives, loves me, and knows everything that I am experiencing helps me through the difficult times I have faced and will face. I am happy no matter what situation I am placed in because of the things I know to be true. 

The second greatest change I have experienced was the change in my FAMILY. My love for them has blossomed, and my realization of their importance in my life continues to grow on a daily basis. Life has not always been easy in my family, but the relationship I have with them now has made every single tear, every single moment of struggle and unhappiness completely worth it. Though my parents did not join the church with me, over these past two years, they have developed incredible faith. I never knew that my conversion would shake my family to the core, allowing us to essentially pick up and rebuild our relationships. I see my parents through new eyes. My mom has always been my best friend, but I have gained a greater respect for her as a strong, committed woman who would do anything for those she loves. Her love of God and her beautiful, kind, radiant countenance is something I hope to emulate with my own children. My relationship with my dad was on the rocks for many years, but I think I can safely say that we have weathered the worst of the storms and are now sailing on smooth seas. My dad has become an incredible man, and my respect and love for him is always increasing. His faith has grown so much, and often he says things to me that bring me to tears because I never thought I would hear him utter such words. As a family, we have all grown closer to Heavenly Father. Because of that growth together, the bonds of love and respect have increased immensely. I am so blessed that my conversion strengthened not only my family as a unit, but my parents as individuals.

I am so grateful for all of the blessings I have in my life. I am so blessed to be a member of this church. I know that Heavenly Father loves all of us. I know that my savior lives and sacrificed Himself for us so that we can someday return to live with Heavenly Father. I know that families can be forever. I know that Thomas S. Monson is a prophet of God who leads our world today. I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the true church on the earth, established by God through Joseph Smith. I know that the temple is the house of the Lord. I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God and that the words contained within are true and applicable to all of us today. I love this gospel so much, and I am eternally grateful to know what I know. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Moments of Impact.


Life’s all about moments of impact and how they change our lives forever.

Many of you may recognize this quote. For those of you who don’t, it is just one of the many profound quotes from the movie The Vow. If you back track a little bit to somewhere around February 17th, 2012, you may find a blog all about how I had gone to see this movie, how much it had upset me, yada yada. Well, tonight, I was able to watch it again. I can honestly say that I felt as though I was watching it through new eyes. I have seen it a handful of times since my blog rant, but something about this time was… different.
Today, I experienced a “moment of impact”.

In the movie, these moments are described as one’s that change your life, that turn your world “upside down”. At the time, I think the phrase was being used in such a way that the audience may think that all of these moments are some sort of bad. However, when I heard these words tonight, something inside me clicked. In a good way.

I knew that today, I had experienced one of those moments that would most likely change me forever.

Not anything big and earth shattering like a car-crash-that-steals-my-memory-and-the-one-I-love-must-fight-to-get-me-back moment. Just a simple moment where the whisperings of the Spirit and of my heart where loud and clear.

Lately, it seems as though these moments of impact have really shaped who I am and who I hope to be. It is amazing how these things really can change us in ways we didn’t imagine we could be changed.

I think today was the best moment yet, though.

Now, I hope by this point, you are DYING to know what in the world my moment consisted of… But that would spoil the fun J. So, to your disappointment, I must leave you hanging by the threads that are my words. Maybe (hopefully) in the near future, I will be able to share just exactly what it was that impacted me so greatly. Until then, you are left to your own devices.

The thing is each one of us is the sum total of every moment that we ever experience, with all the people we've ever known. And it's these moments that become our history. Like our own personal of greatest hits of memories that we play and replay in our minds, over and over again.”

Goodnight, world.

J